Since before Christmas Ava has unfortunately been very unwell and has had 3 operations, she is due to go for her fourth one today. Life is this fast lane is hard! Life with a special needs child is never ending, it’s like someone has thrown a grenade at you and told you to run. Just… Continue reading The Struggle
Do you know what. Fuck it. If I can get this out there to save someone, to break the stigma then I’m willing to bare my soul. I will sacrifice my privacy, my deepest most personal thoughts to try and save myself. Two months ago I reached a crisis point, I sat in my lounge… Continue reading Suicide.
So many people time and time again question how I do it? Do what? Be a parent, a mum? I just do, just like every other mum I know. The days you don’t hear from me, the days I lay low are the days I admit to myself that it’s overwhelming, that I need time… Continue reading Carer vs Mother
Recently in the area that I live, the disabled community have been getting a right bashing about parking. A local supermarket has supposedly put even more disabled bays in their car park and shock horror they have moved the mother and child bays further away from the store. Now as not only a mother, I… Continue reading Disabled Parking
Every now and then I find myself looking through Ava’s memory box and I have a good cry. I always rummage through and reflect back on the moment in time she first wore her teeny tiny sleepsuit, she was 2 weeks old and she had worn nothing but a nappy since the day she was… Continue reading Memory Box
To the parents that lost their shit today. because the nurses and doctors put my child first and not yours, I’m sorry. Actually I’m not sorry, because do you know what? I’ve endured 3 months in this hospital with my daughter fighting for her life, endless, tests, blood transfusions and operations and you are here… Continue reading My Daughter comes before your son.
My daughter. My inspiration, my fighter and THE bravest girl I know. I put a lot of stuff up about our family “oh look another hospital appointment” but I want to make people see how hard having a medically complex daughter is, okay hard isn’t exactly the right word! It’s exhausting, mind numbing, overwhelming, upsetting,… Continue reading Operations…
I cling onto memories, snapshots of my life and when I revisit something that stirs old memories it gets me thinking. These sofas I have sat on hundreds of times, if you’re a regular at GOSH you will recognise them. I’ve sat on these patiently waiting for my little fighter to come out of… Continue reading
Ava’s been in hospital for over 2 weeks in a space of a month. It’s been testing both my physical and mental health, we’ve have fevers of 40 and endless washing of clothes and bed sheets, it’s relentless. I sat the other night scrolling through my Facebook, my timeline filled with wonderful pictures of children,… Continue reading It Will Happen, Just Not Today…
As a sort of “ritual” I check out my ‘on this day..’ On Facebook. One thing that really struck a cord with me was that this time last year I didn’t put one single post up on my page. It’s blatantly obvious as to why, it was my daughters first Christmas and due to some… Continue reading Christmas