Well it’s officially 2022 and I’ve beeen writing this for nearly 6 months. I haven’t found the head space to finish it. I’ve nothing remotely positive to say about 2021 – sorry! The last year was a complete pancake. At the end of the year, 30th November to be specific the most scariest day of… Continue reading Brain Bleed
Something resonated with me the other day. Someone said what you need to do “is go with your most closest friend..” I zoned out after that. I’ve thought for a long time, I’ve mulled things over in my head and it’s something I’ve addressed in therapy. I don’t have any friends. Not proper ones. On… Continue reading The emptiness
I never thought at almost 7 I would be changing my daughters nappy multiple times a day. I never thought at almost 18kg I would still be carrying her in my arms up and down the stairs, too and from the car or in and out of the bath. I never thought at almost 7… Continue reading Stuck
I’m no stranger to this place, but things are different this time. I’ve been sectioned and detained in a mother and baby psychiatric ward for almost 4 months. I wanted to talk about it to give others insight and I’ll be as open and as honest as I can. I was admitted to hospital because… Continue reading Life in the MBU (mother and baby unit) during a pandemic
Life’s never easy, it never is and time seems to be passing by so quickly. I started this blog when I had two children, I now have 5 – (5,4,3,2 5 month old!) I have decided to start writing again; I need to vent how I am feeling and put it all into words, I… Continue reading Updated.
Since before Christmas Ava has unfortunately been very unwell and has had 3 operations, she is due to go for her fourth one today. Life is this fast lane is hard! Life with a special needs child is never ending, it’s like someone has thrown a grenade at you and told you to run. Just… Continue reading The Struggle
With this year rapidly drawing to a close I just wanted to sum it up – shit. I’ve lost my sanity too many times to count, Ava has been so unwell, and I have been broken numerous times. Yet I’m still standing! I can’t say it was all bad, 2018 welcomed my beautiful little Jasper… Continue reading 2018
Since my admission to a psychiatric unit I’ve been on a mission to remove negativity from my life. Things that I believe to be toxic to my happiness and well being, have gone. This has included social media, I’ve been away from social media for around a month now. Do I miss it? Not really.… Continue reading Life Cleansing
Do you know what. Fuck it. If I can get this out there to save someone, to break the stigma then I’m willing to bare my soul. I will sacrifice my privacy, my deepest most personal thoughts to try and save myself. Two months ago I reached a crisis point, I sat in my lounge… Continue reading Suicide.
So many people time and time again question how I do it? Do what? Be a parent, a mum? I just do, just like every other mum I know. The days you don’t hear from me, the days I lay low are the days I admit to myself that it’s overwhelming, that I need time… Continue reading Carer vs Mother