I never thought at almost 7 I would be changing my daughters nappy multiple times a day. I never thought at almost 18kg I would still be carrying her in my arms up and down the stairs, too and from the car or in and out of the bath. I never thought at almost 7… Continue reading Stuck
Since before Christmas Ava has unfortunately been very unwell and has had 3 operations, she is due to go for her fourth one today. Life is this fast lane is hard! Life with a special needs child is never ending, it’s like someone has thrown a grenade at you and told you to run. Just… Continue reading The Struggle
Every now and then I find myself looking through Ava’s memory box and I have a good cry. I always rummage through and reflect back on the moment in time she first wore her teeny tiny sleepsuit, she was 2 weeks old and she had worn nothing but a nappy since the day she was… Continue reading Memory Box
To the parents that lost their shit today. because the nurses and doctors put my child first and not yours, I’m sorry. Actually I’m not sorry, because do you know what? I’ve endured 3 months in this hospital with my daughter fighting for her life, endless, tests, blood transfusions and operations and you are here… Continue reading My Daughter comes before your son.
When did life become so complicated? Ava’s been in hospital for pretty much 3 months now and it’s ridiculous, I’ve watched her fighting, crying, bleed out, had endless needles and catheters put in her. I’ve watched her writhing round in pain, begging me with her eyes to take away the pain, and all I can… Continue reading My Special Boy
My daughter. My inspiration, my fighter and THE bravest girl I know. I put a lot of stuff up about our family “oh look another hospital appointment” but I want to make people see how hard having a medically complex daughter is, okay hard isn’t exactly the right word! It’s exhausting, mind numbing, overwhelming, upsetting,… Continue reading Operations…
I cling onto memories, snapshots of my life and when I revisit something that stirs old memories it gets me thinking. These sofas I have sat on hundreds of times, if you’re a regular at GOSH you will recognise them. I’ve sat on these patiently waiting for my little fighter to come out of… Continue reading
It’s on a day like today I’ve made a 30 mile trip to the underground station to go and see Ava in gosh that I find some perspective on things. Yea things are pretty shit, but I’ll never forget last year doing this journey EVERY day…. I was also pregnant at the time. And do… Continue reading Perspective
Ava’s been in hospital for over 2 weeks in a space of a month. It’s been testing both my physical and mental health, we’ve have fevers of 40 and endless washing of clothes and bed sheets, it’s relentless. I sat the other night scrolling through my Facebook, my timeline filled with wonderful pictures of children,… Continue reading It Will Happen, Just Not Today…
I think my blog is a bit negative, I know it is, but, it’s somewhere I can come at a stupid time in the morning and just write how I feel. I can’t change the world, or my situation, it’s simply the cards I’ve been dealt and I just have to get on with it.… Continue reading One of those days…
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