Something resonated with me the other day. Someone said what you need to do “is go with your most closest friend..” I zoned out after that. I’ve thought for a long time, I’ve mulled things over in my head and it’s something I’ve addressed in therapy. I don’t have any friends. Not proper ones. On… Continue reading The emptiness
If you’ve followed my blog, my last post was about my time being detained and the final part of my so called “recovery”. I’m going to go back to this and explain what happened next. I was in the MBU and after an “incident” Beatrix was taken off of me and I was transferred to… Continue reading 2020 – F**ck you.
I’m no stranger to this place, but things are different this time. I’ve been sectioned and detained in a mother and baby psychiatric ward for almost 4 months. I wanted to talk about it to give others insight and I’ll be as open and as honest as I can. I was admitted to hospital because… Continue reading Life in the MBU (mother and baby unit) during a pandemic
Life’s never easy, it never is and time seems to be passing by so quickly. I started this blog when I had two children, I now have 5 – (5,4,3,2 5 month old!) I have decided to start writing again; I need to vent how I am feeling and put it all into words, I… Continue reading Updated.
Do you know what. Fuck it. If I can get this out there to save someone, to break the stigma then I’m willing to bare my soul. I will sacrifice my privacy, my deepest most personal thoughts to try and save myself. Two months ago I reached a crisis point, I sat in my lounge… Continue reading Suicide.
So many people time and time again question how I do it? Do what? Be a parent, a mum? I just do, just like every other mum I know. The days you don’t hear from me, the days I lay low are the days I admit to myself that it’s overwhelming, that I need time… Continue reading Carer vs Mother
I think my blog is a bit negative, I know it is, but, it’s somewhere I can come at a stupid time in the morning and just write how I feel. I can’t change the world, or my situation, it’s simply the cards I’ve been dealt and I just have to get on with it.… Continue reading One of those days…
You know I’ve been on a journey of discovery – how cliche is that? I’m only human and I’ve learnt that we really do all have a breaking point, mine has been over a year of tireless journeys and never ending worry for Ava’s health, top that with a new baby and I’m sure most… Continue reading Welcome To Reality
I’d been good for too long, a good couple of weeks or so, and today it shows I’m still not “well”. Both of my children have been testing to say the least, I have Ava who has been in hospital poorly and now home but still poorly on endless medication and generally all round not… Continue reading The Inevitable
It’s been 8 weeks since I had an elective c-section for my beautiful baby boy. The weeks have flown by in some respects but in others it really hasn’t, sometimes the days would feel so endless and so isolate that I’d check my clock and question – is that REALLY the time? It was usually… Continue reading It’s Not A Badge Of Failure…