I’d been good for too long, a good couple of weeks or so, and today it shows I’m still not “well”.

Both of my children have been testing to say the least, I have Ava who has been in hospital poorly and now home but still poorly on endless medication and generally all round not herself. This results in multiple blue episodes a day where she gets so worked up, she holds her breath till she goes blue and passes out. Every time she does this I’m never quite sure if that’s going to be the moment I need to administer CPR…. I live in fear everyday.
Then we have the smallest one, baby Steven. He is now 4 months old and going through a phase! Oh and teething.

I kind of get to the point where yes, I lose my shit, I cry I think how the hell am I supposed to do this? And want to run away and never come back. But, it’s noted that now the recovery and the ability to pull my shit back together is much quicker and I feel stronger.

Baby steps.