I cling onto memories, snapshots of my life and when I revisit something that stirs old memories it gets me thinking. These sofas I have sat on hundreds of times, if you’re a regular at GOSH you will recognise them. I’ve sat on these patiently waiting for my little fighter to come out of… Continue reading
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Perspective
It’s on a day like today I’ve made a 30 mile trip to the underground station to go and see Ava in gosh that I find some perspective on things. Yea things are pretty shit, but I’ll never forget last year doing this journey EVERY day…. I was also pregnant at the time. And do… Continue reading Perspective
It Will Happen, Just Not Today…
Ava’s been in hospital for over 2 weeks in a space of a month. It’s been testing both my physical and mental health, we’ve have fevers of 40 and endless washing of clothes and bed sheets, it’s relentless. I sat the other night scrolling through my Facebook, my timeline filled with wonderful pictures of children,… Continue reading It Will Happen, Just Not Today…
One of those days…
I think my blog is a bit negative, I know it is, but, it’s somewhere I can come at a stupid time in the morning and just write how I feel. I can’t change the world, or my situation, it’s simply the cards I’ve been dealt and I just have to get on with it.… Continue reading One of those days…
Christmas
As a sort of “ritual” I check out my ‘on this day..’ On Facebook. One thing that really struck a cord with me was that this time last year I didn’t put one single post up on my page. It’s blatantly obvious as to why, it was my daughters first Christmas and due to some… Continue reading Christmas
A Letter To The Former Me
A letter to a former me If I could go back two years I wish I could give myself the pep talk I so desperately need right now. I would tell myself that it is all meant to be, that Your first born will be very sick but, it’s going to be okay. She will… Continue reading A Letter To The Former Me
Welcome To Reality
You know I’ve been on a journey of discovery – how cliche is that? I’m only human and I’ve learnt that we really do all have a breaking point, mine has been over a year of tireless journeys and never ending worry for Ava’s health, top that with a new baby and I’m sure most… Continue reading Welcome To Reality
A Thank You To My Midwife
When I gave birth to Ava I never saw her, all I remember is seeing her feet as she was placed on top of me for two seconds before she was taken to be resuscitated. It was the single most scariest thing I’ve ever been through in my life. I felt so detached from Ava,… Continue reading A Thank You To My Midwife
Life Behind Bars
I obviously don’t mean prison,but then again it might as well be. Except if this were prison I have an indefinite sentence … Since my son was born I have lost count on how many hospital admissions Ava has had, it’s really been that many. I feel guilty Ava spends her life in a hospital… Continue reading Life Behind Bars
The Lips That Can’t Kiss
I’ve said many a time and again I’d like to reiterate, it is was it is , Ava wouldn’t be Ava if she didn’t have CHARGE syndrome. I’d never have learnt to love her big blue eyes that can literally tell me all I need to know about what she’s feeling. I’d never have learnt… Continue reading The Lips That Can’t Kiss
takechargewith2 